i hate everyone. i hate this school. i just wish someone would finish me off already.
i wanted to bleed i wanted to bleed so bad today. i hid my razors for that very reason.
i purged twice today. despite begining the morning with i will not purge i will not purge i will not purge.
i ruin everything.
i feel suicidal. but its so different from the times before. i know i know people love me. people would miss me. i just don't care for them anymore. they are vapid and useless and idiotic.
my sister is the only reason i am not insane or dead. she looks up to me. and i have already killed that trust over and over and she never gives up that i am better than my deepest darkest secrets tell me i am.
HE. he hurt me. and before i was misery. and then i was pretending he never happened. but today. today i am bitter. i could hit him. scream at him. HE. he will never know. i just wish he knew that i miss my best friend. no i don't miss my lover, my starcrossed secret, or my kissing buddy. i miss how he listened.
nobody else cared.
i am so done with people. i am so done with myself.
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