i am a failure. i am a failure. i am a failure. i am a failure. i am a failure.
i can't stop bulimia.
i can't stop eating.
i can't stop worrying.
i can't stop hurting.
i can't stop obsessing.
i can't stop this useless ED.
i was done. i was done. i was done.
relapse. relapse. relapse.
i wish i felt life was worth it more often. the only thing i live for right now is my sister (given.) and school. and i live for school because i need to get out. the only way out is through college.
i wish i was there now. i am only screwing around waiting now.
before i was building up knowledge and courage to leave.
i have that. now i need to leave. i hate this place. i hate people.
all my 'friends' like me more than i will ever like people.
i am a people pleaser.
i am a pretender.
i am a rotton person.
my stomach hurts. i want to sleep but i am not tired.
i feel like hitting something.
you are not all the horrible things you think you are.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop the bulimia or the hurting or the worrying, but I can listen and read your blog so you know you're not alone.
there will be better, brighter days, I promise.
This is how I feel.
ReplyDeleteI please people too often so it's easy for me to be liked, but I feel like I could never like them as much in return. Which I feel makes me horrible.
Then I feel i fail if I eat but I also feel like I fail of i don't.
But cheer up love. Things will get better, you'll get motivation and happiness back
<3